{"_id":"68f1043e7ee9b901702e8983","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Can my son attend his public-school dance with his friends?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"My son wants to go to a school dance at his public school with his friends. Would it be permissible for him to attend? If not, how should I advise him?\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"May Allah ﷻ reward you for reaching out for guidance on this issue.\\n\\nIt can be very difficult to feel like the “no” parent, always telling our children no for things that they ask to do. At the surface level, a school dance may seem like something isn’t that serious. We must evaluate the event, based on the principle of what it is.\\n\\nSchool dances have always served the purpose of bringing young people of opposite genders together for social interaction and to imitate actions that should only happen between two married people. While these days it has become the norm for kids to attend dances with their friends instead of the opposite gender, it still puts the child in an environment that potentiates acceptance of such norms and lifestyles.\\n\\nAcceptance of environments and behaviors that go against our fitrah does not happen overnight. We slowly start to condition ourselves to accept them, the more we expose ourselves to such environments and cultivate that comfort in our hearts, until we reach the point of full acceptance. This is true for both adults and even more for kids, as they are sponges and still in their formative years. We really must strive to keep them out of environments that go against our principles, as much as possible.\\n\\nThat being said, we also can’t expect them to live in a bubble. Perhaps a better alternative would be to have them plan something with their friends on the same night, that is more value aligned so that they don’t fully feel like they’re missing out.\\n\\nMay Allah make things easy on you, insha’Allah.\\n\\nSide note:\\nTeaching our kids to choose activities that are value aligned is something that even modern-day psychologists use to help both adults and kids in therapy. It serves as a useful tool to help them reflect on their values and then they can use that as a filter for what they accept and what they reject. Sit with your child and make a list of values together; it makes for a great conversation and also provides them with a framework for how we make our decisions, instead of just “because I said so.”\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da0010b76658b4c232b9d","tag":"Relationships: Parent and Child","count":111},{"_id":"668d9fe30b76658b4c23280f","tag":"Relationships: Non-Muslims","count":95},{"_id":"668d9ff10b76658b4c2329d2","tag":"Relationships: Opposite Gender","count":80},{"_id":"668da02b0b76658b4c232ff9","tag":"Relationships: Friend","count":52},{"_id":"682e8d592d0f3a9bf9f0954f","tag":"Contemporary Life: Education","count":12}],"createdOn":"2025-10-16T14:42:06.863Z"}