{"_id":"68dea99183f5f909c75b4491","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"How should a wife address pain and lack of consideration in intimacy?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"I’ve been having intimate issues with my husband since we got married. For him, intercourse means getting naked immediately and going straight to the point, but for women it requires more “warm up.” I’ve tried to address this seriously and jokingly, but it hasn’t improved. I still make myself available since it’s his right, but I’m always in pain and just try not to cry. Because of this, I often avoid intimacy, even though I want children. How should I approach this situation? Doesn’t Islam teach men to make intimacy comfortable for their wives?\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Intimacy in marriage is meant to be a source of comfort and mutual enjoyment for both spouses, not a cause of pain. This is what Islam teaches and encourages. It seems your husband needs to be made more aware of this important aspect. I would advise you to have an open and serious conversation with him about it. You should not feel compelled to suffer in silence, because tolerating ongoing pain is neither healthy for you nor beneficial for the well-being of your marriage.\\n\\nHere is an excerpt from al-Mughnī by one of the most highly regarded and influential Muslim scholars, Ibn Qudāmah (may Allah have mercy on him):\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"indent\":2},\"insert\":\"\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"It is recommended that a man engage in playful affection with his wife before intimacy, so that her desire is awakened and she may share in the same pleasure that he experiences. It has been reported from ʿUmar ibn ʿAbd al-ʿAzīz, from the Prophet ﷺ, that he said:\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"‘Do not approach her until she has felt desire similar to yours, so that you do not finish before her.’\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"He was asked:\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"‘And how is that in my control?’\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"He replied:\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"‘By kissing her, caressing her, and touching her. When you sense that she has reached a state like yours, then proceed with intercourse.\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"If he reaches completion before her, it is disliked for him to withdraw until she has finished, for Anas ibn Mālik narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"‘When a man is intimate with his wife, let him fulfill her right; and when he has satisfied his need, let him not hasten away until she has satisfied hers.’\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#a10000\",\"italic\":true},\"insert\":\"Otherwise, it causes her harm and deprives her of fulfilling her desire.\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668d9ffb0b76658b4c232ade","tag":"Marriage: Roles and Responsibilities","count":56},{"_id":"668da0150b76658b4c232daf","tag":"Relationships: Spouse","count":42},{"_id":"66df51d76df6cc867de7a6ca","tag":"Marriage: Intimacy and Conception","count":39}],"createdOn":"2025-10-02T16:34:25.117Z"}