{"_id":"684fef6b39c2dbb543418273","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"What should I do when someone is backbiting to me about other person?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"When dealing with somebody backbiting to you about another, what is (A) the best approach and (B) the minimum we must do? It is difficult to tell someone off for this action because you don’t want to come off as self-righteous (or in fact even hypocritical, as we all know our own heavy flaws). It’s also hard to tell someone off because typically, the fact that they are confiding in you indicates their liking for you in particular. This may sound perverse, but I don’t want for people to dislike me, and I think that becomes very possible when you tell people that what they are doing by backbiting is wrong. Still, I want to be better.\\n\\nUsually, the best I manage to do is stay silent or try change the subject with a neutral comment. Is that ok? I was thinking of the Hadith that says if you see an evil, change it with your hand, then tongue, then heart (in that order). Does that apply as a minimum basis here? Is it enough to hate the act in your heart, but not proactively speak against it?\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Try to gently remind them without sounding like you’re shaming them. You can say something like: “I’m trying to be more careful about avoiding backbiting. Can we talk about something else, please?”\\n\\nBe consistent and courageous. Don’t worry about whether people like you simply because you go along with them. Seek the kind of respect that’s rooted in values, not in complicity.\\n\\nOver time, people will learn that you’re not someone they can backbite around, not because you’re judgmental, but because your presence itself becomes a quiet reminder of restraint.\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da02b0b76658b4c232ff9","tag":"Relationships: Friend","count":52},{"_id":"66cd028b362bfeb5d620c8d6","tag":"Backbiting","count":12}],"createdOn":"2025-06-16T10:18:19.255Z"}