{"_id":"682ce49b93563519c0afda36","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"How should I deal with a potential spouse’s mahram who thinks we’re not ready for marriage?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Why does a mahram (a man from the girl's family) have to be present when I want to talk to a girl I’m interested in marrying? Why not my mother, for example? Especially if the father of the girl I'm trying to marry doesn't want us to talk with him.\\n\\nHe refuses to play the role of a mahram because he thinks we're too young. We'll soon be 18 and we're much more mature than most people our age. He knows me well and knows that I'm not here to joke and that I'm serious. Even though there are other men in her family, only her father can be this mahram since the rest of her family doesn't speak the same language as us. Can it be an imam or someone of knowledge?\\n\\nI also know that I'm not financially ready, but in a few years, I will be inShaAllah. I just want to protect myself and get to know the girl I'm trying to marry the halal way. I’m willing to wait for her, but I'm afraid of the outcome. I tell myself it's a test of my patience. Would you also recommend for me to pray isthikhara?\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Al-ḥamdu lillāh that you’ve already recognized you’re not yet financially ready. That’s an important realization, and it shows maturity. You’re being realistic, because most parents will not agree to a marriage with someone who isn’t financially stable or prepared to provide for their daughter.\\n\\nGiven this, my advice is to communicate your interest through your mother or another trustworthy woman. Then, turn your focus toward preparing yourself for marriage and family life by learning your dīn and working toward financial independence and the ability to provide.\\n\\nWhen the time comes and you’re ready, your mother can re-engage with the girl’s family, in a respectful and proper manner.\\n\\nI sincerely advise you not to approach the girl or her family directly until you’re prepared. If she is meant for you, Allah will preserve that path for you, and bring it about at the right time, by His Will and Power.\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da0010b76658b4c232b9d","tag":"Relationships: Parent and Child","count":111},{"_id":"668d9fdf0b76658b4c2327a6","tag":"Marriage: Pre-Marriage","count":68},{"_id":"668d9fdf0b76658b4c2327a9","tag":"Relationships: Potential Spouse","count":44},{"_id":"668d9fde0b76658b4c23278c","tag":"Relationships: In-Laws","count":11}],"createdOn":"2025-05-20T20:22:51.099Z"}