{"_id":"682ca38a41f88a5d692862d5","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"How should we deal with parents who have a negative outlook on life?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"What do we do when we want validation from our parents that we’re good enough or a good person, but their past experiences of being used or abused by others causes them to have a negative perception about everyone and anyone?\\n\\nI feel like if there is any good in me, it’s dismissed or minimized by them unknowingly. If someone compliments me, they would tell me “It’s because you have [insert valuable thing].” It ruins the confidence I have, which took years to build \\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"It’s deeply human to want our parents to see the good in us. When that validation is missing or filtered through their pain or mistrust, it can leave us feeling invisible, invalidated, or like we’ll never be “enough.” Parents who have been hurt in life may develop a reflexive suspicion of praise or good intentions, not because they don’t love you, but because they’ve learned to protect themselves by expecting the worst. And sadly, sometimes that defensive outlook spills over onto the people they care about most.\\n\\nIf your parents tend to explain away your achievements, remember: that’s their lens, not your reality. People who have been betrayed, manipulated, or let down by others often see the world through a distorted lens. They might believe that everyone has an angle or that nothing is ever sincere. And when you’re praised, they may unconsciously project that mistrust onto the situation. But their pain doesn’t define your truth.\\n\\nYou can acknowledge their struggles without internalizing their narratives about you.\"},{\"attributes\":{\"list\":\"bullet\"},\"insert\":\"\\n\"},{\"insert\":\"You can love and respect your parents while emotionally detaching from their commentary when it’s hurtful. \"},{\"attributes\":{\"list\":\"bullet\"},\"insert\":\"\\n\"},{\"insert\":\"Remind yourself that you’re not waiting for someone to declare your worth. You’ve earned your confidence, and it’s valid.\"},{\"attributes\":{\"list\":\"bullet\"},\"insert\":\"\\n\"},{\"insert\":\"When people fall short in affirming us, Allah never does. Turn to Him with your pain and your longing to be seen\"},{\"attributes\":{\"list\":\"bullet\"},\"insert\":\"\\n\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"“Say: Allah is sufficient for me…”  [\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/9/129\",\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"Qur’an 9:129\"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"]\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\nIt’s okay to grieve the validation you didn’t receive, but you are not bound to carry the weight of their worldview forever.\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da0010b76658b4c232b9d","tag":"Relationships: Parent and Child","count":111},{"_id":"686c05975bca77ccedff9483","tag":"Health: Mental & Emotional","count":28}],"createdOn":"2025-05-20T15:45:14.918Z"}