{"_id":"68275c334710f43a832de9a9","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"How can I support a friend who was in a haram relationship prior to marriage?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"A friend has confided in me and is seeking some guidance. She and her husband married not long ago, but recently she told me that before their nikah they were actually in a haram relationship. They were physically close for some time before marriage. She told me (not as an excuse) that they were both dealing with great trauma at that point in their lives and were perhaps more susceptible to going astray.\\n\\nShe was crying profusely and telling me how much she regrets it, and how she asks forgiveness from Allah SWT for it constantly (as does her husband), crying in tahajjud. She wanted to know if, despite this part of the origin of their relationship, given their repentance can her marriage still have barakah and blessings from Allah ﷻ? She told me that because actual pre-marital intercourse did not occur she believes her nikah is valid insha'Allah  but she is still terrified her marriage is \\\"cursed\\\" due to her sins and is even scared to have children. She said she's distanced herself from everything that led her to that place in life and hates those things in her heart.\\n\\nAllah ﷻ  knows best, but from what I've seen of the current time she's a good person who messed up. She was crying so hard and was so ashamed that I'm actually very worried for her mental and physical health. Putting aside my discomfort with the conversation, I'm trying to be there for her as she for some reason saw fit to confide in me. She asked me to try to get some guidance on her questions/fears above as she is too ashamed to ask herself. \\n\\nDo you have any guidance for how I can support her in her path of repentance?\\n\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"How you can support her:\\n\\n1) Remind her that sincere tawbah erases sin completely. There is no room for ongoing guilt once repentance is done — only hope and gratitude remain.\\n\\nThe Prophet ﷺ said:\\n\"},{\"attributes\":{\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"\\\"The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.\\\"\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n2) Encourage her to focus on good deeds. The Prophet ﷺ said: \"},{\"attributes\":{\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"that good deeds erase bad deeds (Qur'an \"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/11/114\",\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"11:114\"},{\"attributes\":{\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\", \"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/25/70\",\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"25:70\"},{\"attributes\":{\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\").\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n3) Gently urge her to trust in Allah’s mercy more than she fears His punishment. \"},{\"attributes\":{\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"Allah’s mercy encompasses all things (Qur’an \"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/7/156\",\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"7:156\"},{\"attributes\":{\"italic\":true,\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\").\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\\n4) Advise her not to allow Shayṭān to rob her of hope. Despair after repentance is one of Shayṭān’s greatest tricks.\\n\\n5) Be patient with her emotions. Deep guilt can take time to heal even after repentance. Just being a calm, listening presence is a great support.\\n\\n6) Tell her that not only can their marriage have barakah — but with their sincere repentance, their life together can be a fresh start blessed by Allah, built on honesty, tawbah, and growth.\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"675b2692961d6007dcd00af3","tag":"Tawbah","count":2},{"_id":"68275c334710f43a832de9a2","tag":"Marriage","count":1},{"_id":"68275c334710f43a832de9a5","tag":"Repentance","count":1}],"createdOn":"2025-05-16T15:39:31.650Z"}