{"_id":"676cbbb670d862991ddfe311","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"What are the rights of parents owed to them by their children?\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"There is so much advice out there for young people, their rights, their opinions and while so much of that is important, not much is written about the rights of parents and the expectations of parents from their children. My child is in all respects a wonderful person and the light of my eyes. I know that there are generational differences. But their actions can be short sighted and self centered. As a parent, my feelings are sometimes hurt because of their reactions to any form of advice. The advice comes from a place of love and concern and also the fact that the parents also have an obligation to their own families and close friends and some of the child’s actions leave us with very little recourse to explain to other loving family members or to ‘save face’. I admit that sometimes my frustrations get the better of me and I do raise my voice. My child will then not speak to me for days. Please know that I am not talking about honor or societal standing. That does not hold much sway with me. I am referring to the same obligations that the children nowadays also have towards their own friends and communities. How do you convey to your children that their actions have an impact on the parents? Where do we as parents step back and allow them to ‘make their own mistakes and learn from them’? I know that we make Dua for their well being but sometimes, all we want to do is just want to protect them and hold onto the relationship we had with them as when they were little.\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Islam places tremendous significance on the rights and status of parents, elevating their role in a child's life and mandating respect, kindness, and obedience as core responsibilities. Allah commands in the Qur’an:\\n\\n> \"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents…” \"},{\"insert\":\"[\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/al-isra/23\"},\"insert\":\"Qur’an 17:23\"},{\"insert\":\"]. This decree places kindness to parents directly after worshiping Allah, highlighting its importance.\\n\\nParents are owed obedience and respect throughout their lives, as well as care and companionship, especially as they age. In a well-known hadith, a man asked the Prophet ﷺ, “Who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?” The Prophet replied, “Your mother,” repeating it three times before finally adding, “Your father” [\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://sunnah.com/riyadussalihin:316\"},\"insert\":\"Sahih Bukhari and Muslim\"},{\"insert\":\"]. This emphasizes the profound importance of treating one’s parents, especially the mother, with care and compassion.\\n\\nChildren are encouraged to recognize the sacrifice and hardship endured by their parents and to respond with patience and understanding. Disrespectful behavior, refusal to help, or hurtful language toward parents are seen as severe faults in Islam, as the Prophet ﷺ stated that one of the gravest sins is “to be undutiful to one’s parents”.\\n\\n> \"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"“We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination”\"},{\"insert\":\" [\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/luqman/14\"},\"insert\":\"Qur’an 31:14\"},{\"insert\":\"].\\n\\nChildren are to avoid even showing frustration with them, symbolized by the prohibition of uttering “uff” [\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/en/al-isra/23\"},\"insert\":\"Qur’an 17:23\"},{\"insert\":\"].\\n\\nWhen parents offer guidance, children should receive it with gratitude and humility, even if one chooses a different path. It is important for a child, regardless of age, to continue respectful communication with their parent, even if the parent has raised their voice. Islam teaches us to exercise patience and kindness with our parents above all others in our lives.\\n\\nAs a parent, expressing to your child that your advice is an extension of your love and hope for their well-being can help open communication. Letting them know that while you understand they need space to grow, your guidance is also a way of protecting them as much as you can.\\n\\nPerhaps a gentle conversation—explaining how their actions affect you, not in terms of societal expectations, but in the natural hurt and disappointment you feel as a parent—might bridge that gap. Emphasize that their growth does not diminish your care or responsibility; rather, it reshapes it as you strive to honor their independence without compromising on your role to protect and nurture.\\n\\nIt is reported that Ali ibn Abi Talib said regarding raising children, \\\"Play with them for the first seven years, discipline them for the next seven years, and then befriend them for the next seven years.\\\" This reflects a gradual shift from nurturing to advising, and finally, to becoming a companion to one’s child.\\n\\nParents can sometimes struggle to transition from giving direction to letting go. It is natural to want to protect children from hardship, but allowing them to make decisions also respects their growth. When they falter, it can help to remember that as parents, our primary role is to provide compassionate guidance and continued prayers, trusting in Allah's wisdom.\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da0010b76658b4c232b9d","tag":"Relationships: Parent and Child","count":111}],"createdOn":"2024-12-26T02:13:10.054Z"}