{"_id":"676ac706631b2ecff5b5cbad","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"attributes\":{\"color\":\"#000000\"},\"insert\":\"How should we navigate differences in spiritual growth within marriage without losing motivation or sincerity in faith?\"},{\"insert\":\"\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"I am a revert. My husband of many years and I have always tried to be good Muslims, but I’m ashamed to say we have always been irregular about prayer and I do not wear a headscarf outside of prayer/mosque.\\n\\nIn the last couple months he has suddenly been inspired to pray 5 times a day Alhamdulillah, joined a Quran recitation group, and begun talking about Islam much more. I am happy for him and it has made him happier too. Previously, he would praise my progress in studying Quran and learning Arabic, and tell me how proud he was that I was always trying to learn and grow in my Deen. However, recently he has stopped doing that and now his comments make it clear that he is disappointed I’m not at the same level/pace.\\n\\nThis makes me feel ashamed, guilty, and discouraged. When I bring these feelings up, it causes arguments. I could try to push past those bad feelings to match his Deen, but I would only be doing these things to appease him, not because I feel ready or want it in my heart yet. That doesn’t seem right, but I’m not sure what to do.\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"Alhamdulillah. It's great to hear that your husband has found a renewed commitment to his faith. What both of you need to realize is that the spiritual journey is personal and genuine, and each person will grow at their own pace. Otherwise, it's not true growth but mere imitation and outward conformity without real change or progress. It is crucial to understand this so that we don't expect everyone to be at the same level of growth in their faith. This is something you and your husband should discuss and understand.\\n\\nAllah says in the Quran,\"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\" \\\"And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good\\\" (\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/29/69\",\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"Quran 29:69\"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\").\"},{\"insert\":\" This emphasizes that sincere effort and striving in faith are what Allah values, and He guides each individual on their unique path.\\n\\nAdditionally, it is important for your husband to understand that one of the most important teachings of our faith is to avoid looking down on others or seeing oneself as superior because of perceived greater dedication to faith. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, \\\"He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance shall not enter Paradise\\\" (Muslim). Arrogance, conceit, and disparagement of others are major sins that have a destructive impact on one's faith.\\n\\nYour husband should return to his old ways of encouragement and humility and recognize the dangers of feeling superior to others and making others feel inferior. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also said, \\\"None of you will have faith until you love for your brother what you love for yourself\\\" (Bukhari and Muslim). This highlights the importance of empathy and understanding in supporting each other's spiritual journeys.\\n\\nAs for you, focus on where you are personally. Develop a personal connection to your worship. Engage in prayers, Quran study, and other acts of worship with the intention of drawing closer to Allah, not merely to meet expectations. This sincerity will make your practice more fulfilling. Allah says\"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\", \\\"So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me\\\" (\"},{\"attributes\":{\"link\":\"https://quran.com/2/152\",\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\"Quran 2:152\"},{\"attributes\":{\"bold\":true},\"insert\":\")\"},{\"insert\":\", emphasizing the importance of sincere remembrance and gratitude.\\n\\nSet achievable goals for yourself in terms of prayer and other Islamic practices. Gradually incorporate more consistent prayers into your routine and find motivation through small, meaningful steps. Consider participating in Islamic classes or study groups together. This can help you both learn and grow at a comfortable pace, fostering a supportive environment for mutual spiritual development. Pray to Allah for guidance and strength for both yourself and your husband. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, \\\"The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are most consistent, even if they are few\\\" (Bukhari and Muslim). This underscores the value of steady and sincere efforts in faith.\\n\\nRemember, your commitment to Islam and your efforts to grow in your faith are commendable. It’s important to nurture your faith at a pace that feels right for you, ensuring that your worship is sincere and heartfelt. May Allah guide and strengthen both you and your husband on your spiritual journeys.\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668d9fe10b76658b4c2327dc","tag":"Marriage: Other","count":62},{"_id":"668d9fed0b76658b4c232951","tag":"Knowledge: Other","count":48},{"_id":"668d9ff10b76658b4c2329c4","tag":"Contemporary Life: Converts","count":38}],"createdOn":"2024-12-24T14:36:54.424Z"}