{"_id":"66f7f9cbfdfbf5cc63a0bfd1","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"How can one get past the hurt caused even though one forgives the person who caused them harm?\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"I know that it is best to forgive and there is alot of reward in it. So I forgive those who harm me. I am struggling on and off to reconcile with this forgiveness when a person harms me emotionally in a big way. I have always been Alhamdulillah forgiving but this time my forgiveness feels like it is being stopped by a sense of betrayal. I think to myself, oh Allah I forgive so and so, and then my heart feels like it doesn't really mean it even though I mean it when I am saying it to Allah. I am rewarded for forgiving yes, and it is best, and I know why forgiveness is better, but I have accrued so much hurt from this person that to forgive feels like to ignore how hurt I am because of their actions and it feels disingenuous. They get to walk off scott free so long as they ask Allah to forgive them, so me forgiving feels… I dont know I just dont feel at ease. It’s like none of the harm they did exists anymore to Allah because He is All-Forgiving but I’m still here and hurting inside despite that. How do I get past this?\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"It’s understandable to feel conflicted when trying to forgive someone who has caused you deep emotional pain, even when you know that forgiveness is virtuous and carries great reward. Forgiveness in Islam is indeed highly encouraged, and it’s a means to purify the heart and seek Allah’s pleasure. However, it’s important to acknowledge that forgiveness doesn’t mean you must ignore or minimize the pain you’ve endured. The hurt is real, and it’s natural to feel betrayed, especially if the harm was significant.\\n\\nOne way to reconcile your feelings is to differentiate between forgiveness and forgetting. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to forget what happened or deny your emotions. Instead, it can be a way to free yourself from the burden of resentment, while still acknowledging the hurt. It’s also okay to take time to heal. Sometimes, forgiveness is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and time. You may need to forgive in stages, where each step brings you closer to inner peace.\\n\\nRemember that Allah knows what is in your heart, including the struggle you’re facing. You can continue to ask Him for strength and guidance to fully embrace forgiveness, while also praying for your own healing. It’s important to validate your feelings and recognize that forgiveness doesn’t invalidate the pain you’ve experienced.\\n\\nIt might be helpful to reflect on the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who forgave even those who caused him immense suffering. His forgiveness did not erase the pain he felt, but it was a testament to his strength and his deep trust in Allah’s justice. For instance, when the Prophet (peace be upon him) forgave Wahshi, the man who killed his beloved uncle Hamza, he expressed the human side of his pain by asking Wahshi not to show his face in his presence. The Prophet’s response illustrates that while forgiveness is a noble act, it doesn’t mean that the pain instantly disappears. He showed us that it is natural to continue feeling pain even after forgiving, and that healing takes time.\\n\\nAdditionally, it's important to remind yourself that we are all capable of making mistakes and causing others pain, and we all hope to be forgiven for our wrongs. Also, keep in mind that Allah ﷻ will not let your pain go unrecognized; He will bring about healing and compensation, whether in this world or the hereafter.\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da0320b76658b4c2330a7","tag":"Worship: Tazkiyyah","count":87}],"createdOn":"2024-09-28T12:42:51.871Z"}