{"_id":"668da05a0b76658b4c2334ea","title":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"What guidance is there for someone struggling with same sex attraction?\\n\"}]}","question":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"I have a very close relationship with someone who is tested with same sex attraction (SSA). He is very close to me. He is gay. He does not act on it. He has impeccable character. He struggles with his heart and sexual desires and I feel so terrible for the test Allah has given him. It’s a constant, lifelong, unrelenting one. May Allah give him ease in his test. \\n\\nHe is unmarried and is constantly pressured by family and friends to meet women. He politely declines. He has very slowly opened up to a small number of people, close friends and family, about him being gay. It is not out of celebration but rather to give close family and friends context. He is observant and devout and loves Islam. He is a great person.\\n\\nGrowing up (we’re in our mid 30s now), we (as a society) conflated being gay and acting on it as the same sin and ridiculed and tormented anyone we thought might be gay. We were absolutely terrible to them. I never saw (and probably didn’t look for it since it wasn’t relevant to me) an explanation that was empathetic and compassionate about treating people with respect, dignity, justice, and compassion. It felt like “gay = hellfire”.\\n\\nSubhanAllah this brother hasn’t veered away from Islam despite how the ummah treated people who were gay. But this brother has told me recently he feels alone and lost and struggles. I don’t mean the constant everyday struggle with his existence being gay - he knows that is his test - but he struggles to find community that is like him that can help in navigating his constant struggle as a Muslim man who is not attracted to the opposite sex. There is such shame in the topic that he has a hard time finding spiritual support or answers that are unique to him and others like him. \\n\\nThank you for reminding us of our obligation to treat others with respect and compassion. Are there any resources I can share with him or any communities you know of that might be healthy for him to receive guidance from?\\n\"}]}","answer":"{\"ops\":[{\"insert\":\"May Allah reward you for your insightful input. It's crucial that we deepen our understanding of our faith and put its teachings into action. As you rightly highlighted, there's a significant distinction between practicing homosexuality as a lifestyle and grappling with same-sex attraction. It's essential not to conflate these two vastly different experiences. I would suggest avoiding labeling your friend as \\\"gay,\\\" as this term carries connotations that may not accurately reflect their situation. \\n\\nSame-sex attraction and feminine mannerisms have been topics of discussion in our religious tradition for centuries. In the past, there wasn't a broad term like \\\"gay,\\\" so these issues were addressed separately. \\n\\nRegarding men who exhibit feminine traits in speech, behavior, and attire, our tradition discusses this under the concept of imitating the opposite gender. The ruling here is straightforward: if these behaviors are natural, there is no sin or reproach, even if one doesn't attempt to change them. However, if these behaviors are learned, they are considered sinful, and one must strive to unlearn them. \\n\\nSimilarly, same-sex attraction is not inherently sinful if one cannot control these feelings. However, individuals must strive to manage and restrain these emotions, refraining from acting upon them. Some scholars even consider someone who diligently deals with this challenge as a martyr in the afterlife (shahīd), akin to someone who struggles with forbidden love for a married person. \\n\\nI pray that Allah bestows upon your friend continued blessings, fortitude, strength, and unwavering hope in His Divine Mercy and Compassion.\\n\"}]}","tags":[{"_id":"668da02b0b76658b4c232ff9","tag":"Relationships: Friend","count":52},{"_id":"668da0460b76658b4c2332e6","tag":"Contemporary Life: Lgbt","count":15}],"createdOn":"2024-07-09T20:40:58.167Z"}