{"_id":"668da02f0b76658b4c233066","title":"How should I deal with parents who don't want me to marry someone from a different ethnicity?","question":"I can't convince my parents to consider someone from a different ethnicity for marriage. I bring up the verse from Surah Hujurat that Allah made us from different nations and tribes so we may know one another but my parents double down and say “why did Allah make us of xyz ethnicity if it wasn't meant to be important and special to us?” Thereby implying that there’s an importance to our ethnicity and to stay within that ethnicity as a result. How do I reason with them? They don't listen to what imams have to say.","answer":"Your parents' perspective on the importance of ethnicity and tribal affiliation is not entirely unfounded. It is indeed healthy to take pride in one's cultural heritage, as long as this pride does not lead to a sense of superiority over other groups. In Islam, we are encouraged to recognize the goodness in all tribes and communities. While it's not necessary to completely abandon your tribal identity, it is crucial to embrace those aspects of it that align with Islamic values and to leave behind any practices or beliefs that contradict them. Islam, in essence, does not obliterate one's tribal identity.\nThe question of whether to marry within or outside your tribe is a matter that should be discussed and agreed upon with your parents. Their concerns likely stem from a desire for the well-being of their future grandchildren. They may be worried that a dual tribal or ethnic identity could lead to confusion or a lack of strong identification with either group. Additionally, they might be concerned about potential cultural differences between different ethnicities, which could present challenges.\nMy advice to you is to carefully consider these concerns, engage in open and rational discussions with your parents to gain a deeper understanding of their perspective. Even if you do not fully agree with their reasoning, it's important to acknowledge that their objections are rooted in genuine care for your future family. Strive to have a sincere and reasoned conversation with your parents, free from emotional reactions, and work towards finding a mutually agreeable solution. If, after such discussions, you are unable to convince them, it is advisable to respect their wishes, because we are obliged to obey our parents as long as their requests are not irrational or harmful.","tags":[{"_id":"668da0010b76658b4c232b9d","tag":"Relationships: Parent and Child","count":111},{"_id":"668d9fdf0b76658b4c2327a6","tag":"Marriage: Pre-Marriage","count":68},{"_id":"668da02f0b76658b4c233064","tag":"Racism","count":3}],"createdOn":"2024-07-09T20:40:15.560Z"}